man... i want to say fuck it ... but then i'd just be repeating myself.

shit ain't right.
you ain't right.

i thought that i would like things a lot better if i just didn't feel sad... that if i just felt like whatever... but i think i change my mind. i just want happiness... but doesn't everyone.

day one drugs:

3 pills

DEATH!

good thing i work a double today... won't put any kind of stress on my body or anything WTF

so i went to the doctor and they ran a blood test.

i have to take steroids for the next week and a half to two weeks.

i've not taken real medicine in a long time... i'm pretty nervous about this.

meh

never feel like you owe anyone anything...

never feel like anyone owes you something...

it's just two different recipes for a similar kind of disappointment

relief

so i've been in this strange mood lately. i'm sure it has a lot to do with me being sick over last week up until about now... even though i'm still not feeling thaaaaaat great. oddly enough, it has kind of helped me let go a little of something(s) much needed.

i feel distant... and for the first time in a long time i find it refreshing.